The most traumatic night of my life..

Like I said on my page, I wasn’t sure if it was right to share this with you…

Sometimes though, reality hits and rose tinted glasses aren’t the best thing for the situation. As a blogger we like to portay ourselves in the best light (who doesn’t) but sometimes crap happens, what we choose to do can go either of two ways.

We can share it with you and bring you into our inner circle or we can keep it bottled up.

It’s not that we’re don’t want to share personal issues, it’s just that we don’t want to put negativity out there, our space on the blog is about sharing positivity and making the little things matter..

that is why this post is so important to me. The little things really do matter and they mattered last week.I published this at the exact time that the incident happened last week.  I received the phone call at 6.12pm just as I was going into the kitchen to start dinner..

It didn’t really sink in until after the phone call had ended “It’s Dad, he’s been in an accident”

I just went straight into action mode, grabbed my shoes and my phone and left to go and find my mom, she’d left her phone at home and dad was calling for her to be with him. I knew she was at the hairdressers (long over due,she’d have said) it was just a 10 minute walk so we were there in a matter of moments by car. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her I just knew she needed to be with him and that she ‘d be devastated if she thought she’d missed ‘the call’..

I got through the doors of the hairdressers and she was in the first chair, chatting away..I had to interrupt Hi mom…” Nothing.. ..”mom?”  She turned and looked at me, shocked but smiling.. “It’s me…Amy.. Hi”

“Is it nan? What is it?”

Erm.. no..I mean..well, yeah, It’s, Dad..dad’s been in a car accident”

She looked at me like I was wrong, or lying “Get off..what’d you mean? he’s at work..”

“no, on the way back from work..I’ve just had a phone call, he’s broken some ribs and broken his chest they said..” I started to cry and splutter my words out, I think because I’d seen my moms reaction to me and I didn’t want to upset her, it just caught me off guard.

“Who, who said?..I don’t believe you”

“No, mom it’s true..Andrew just rang me, dad was ringing you..he couldn’t get through..Andrew has your phone but dad wants you with him”

..She was convinced she had her phone with her and it was some elaborate joke…this went on for a good 10 minutes. At one point I started nervously smiling, almost convincing myself it wasn’t true..I mean, It couldnt be.. not..my dad?

Meanwhile, the hairdresser got my mum ready to leave, luckily she hadn’t had any of her colours put on so we were off and out within 5-8 minutes. Mom left her car there as she was in no fit state to drive, she could barely walk..understandably. The whole drive there she repeatedly asked “Are you sure it’s dad?” “Why was he there?” “who rang you?” and me and Tom drove her to dad. We arrived there at 6.24..

Driving down the road we could see the flashing lights ahead “An ambulance is here” Tom said, seemingly to cheer us up but it just made us fear the worst… We slowed the car enough for mom to jump out right next to the ambulance, towel still around her head.She disappeared straight into the back of the ambulance.

Me and Tom were seconds behind her, parking the car on the curb and running over the traffic to get to my dad. He wasn’t there and I didn’t know what to do I just remember saying to Tom “What am I supposed to do?? I just don’t know what to do!” Tom asked the police officer who was standing next to my dads smashed up car, what had happened and if my dad was ok.

“Yeah, he’s fine”  ..”That’s not the message we got!”
I smiled and shook my head at him, in disbelief that my dad could’ve walked out of the car. The whole of the driver’s side was smashed in and the door looked out of place…

He’s fine? He couldn’t be..I was shivering from the cold, I hadn’t grabbed a coat in the rush and I was clearly distressed when the driver of the other vehicle asked me if I was ok.
“Erm, yeah..I’m fine..thanks?” It didn’t occur to me that he was the driver of the other car. I couldn’t believe it! In hindsight I could see he was probably in shock too and just wanted to make sure we were ok but at the time it seemed really insensitve.

My dad was in the hospital for 4 days, on oxygen and heavy painkillers. He has a fractured sternum (chest bone) and a sprained ankle but other than that..and the coughing up blood he’s fine. They’ve done several tests and he has no internal bleeding, they assume the blood is from bruising of his organs and when the fracture happened. So since they can no longer offer him help he’s at home..

He can’t walk, or move much so someone is with him all the time in case he needs the support. He’s suffering with his chest a lot, unable to breathe properly and he’s picked up an awful cough which is leaving him in agony. But, he’s alive and that’s the most important thing..

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It was the worst thing I’d seen and felt but It was amazing to see him at home, still making jokes about the nurses. He’s an amazing person when it comes to pain and dealing with other people’s emotions, he won’t have people feel sorry for him or worry about him.

It might sound selfish for me to say how traumatic it was for me but he won’t tell you how hard it was for him so it has to come from someone… It’s their anniversary today and both of them are in bed, ill or broken, so we’re dealing with a lot at the moment, bare with us (and me). Can I just mention my mum too, whilst it might sound ‘hindsight’, she’s really been strong through this, seeing such a strong man be so helpless has taken it’s toll on her for sure, but she’s strong. For him.

My love, as always.

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