It has been a long month..perhaps the longest one! Summer is supposed to be filled with floaty skirts, uncomfortable sandals and tan-lines to impress your co-workers. Mine, was more sweat and stress with a mix of junk food and netflix. I have felt quite rough, for quite some time.. Which is probably why the motivational message I’ve been sending out has been a bit ‘lack-luster’, sorry!
However, such an awful situation has left me feeling strange. There are moments where I just want to cry-out in anger and then moments where I feel genuinely relieved that I can start a fresh. Get rid of everything from my wardrobe, all of my old bits of makeup I don’t want (and feel are unimportant) and just start over.
I could and definitely should use that time to learn more about the world, spend time with my family and just enjoy myself. Dragging myself around shops, to waste money on items I don’t need or even really want all that much. Is such a waste of my life.
The money I spend on shopping could be used to have put me through driving lessons, I’m not a big spender but I probably spend a good £100 a month on luxury things (foods, outings, clothes & makeup). That’s four driving lessons a month I could have had. I’d have been able to pass a driving test with that amount of money! Which leads me to…
Things I want in life.
Having this time to really reflect on what I have and what I want to have, has really made me realise how important those things are to me. I don’t want new clothes or perfume, I want a home. I don’t want new trainers, I want a car. The small things have really become just that, small. Why am I wasting my life worrying about what I wear, when I could be living it in a home with someone I love?
It really has made me think about the bigger picture and the past 3 weeks I’ve spent far too much time upset over bits of fabric when I could be spending that time looking for a better job. Looking for more ways to actually improve my lifestyle.
I’m far to privileged in life.
I need to stop whining and moaning about the things I don’t have, I have a roof over my head and a supportive family. That is worth a hell of a lot more than my pandora or perfume ever could, so why the hell am I crying over losing ‘valuables’ when the only valuables in life are the memories I have? #truthhurts
So If you really want a challenge (non of this 100 layer makeup challenge or cutting out chocolate). Try something hard, try something that could change your perception and influence you differently. It was definitely not my choice to have gone through this but now I have, I really have learnt a lot. I was told officially that my clothes would not be arriving on the 10th of August, 27 days after leaving for my holiday, I summed up my feelings in a video on the day I found out I had to start over.